at last i comfirm her decision

I have being lie-ing to myself so long since the day i started loving her.
After what she say on her page i just knew that it wasnt me after all.
It was just her fairytale.
I am just lieing to myself all the time

I knew what is best to be known d.. thanks for at least letting me know now before is too late...
I promise to be a gentleman.
I promise i wont be a sore loser.

I have no idea what i am gona do with my life now.
I lost my 'everything'
I lost my direction
I lost my goal
I lost my dream
is this suicide?

or

should i continue lieing to myself that she still have a lil feeling on me..

I just always could see it from her...
I could see that she love me.
I know she have feeling for me.
I know she miss me..
I know she need me..

and is the same here..
I love her deeply...
I want her desperately...
I need her cause she is my air...
=(

baby i am sad.

Another Step of LIFE!

Slept at 2oc at nite and woke up at 7 oc!

Gona have headache soon ><

A lot of things just went over and over my mind.

Thinking of many stuff throughout the night!

Things just past by my mind leaving me vision of what is gona happen later on.

Well,

Believe it or not.

During the night when i was asleep.

Something came to me and tell me be strong in the lord and he will prosper u!

Dont fall into temptation and attend church frequently!

Pray!

It is the second night now i pray to sleep.

I pray for a lot of stuff.

Cause prayer do works.

I pray for the salvation of my family friends and ms.naomi!

I pray for the business i am gona move on into.

I pray for the one i used to love.

I pray for the nation

I pray for country.

I pray for church!

I pray for william.

How isit gona be like today nor tomolo?

How isit gona be like on saturday!

I wanna help her in her PAT exam.

HOW HOW HOW and HOW?

Always rewards her if she is guai =)

Gona bring her some food or bring her out tonite!

Hope she have the time.

But I wanna see her study!

Thinking of the business that I am gona fight for.

Thinking on how am i gona achieve my target.

Is RM100k a year possible?

Yes it is!!!

RM100k a year will make me drive VIOS in 2 or 3 year time =)

GAMBATEH AMOS CHOO!!

Prospect ah Prospect come to me more and more.

Am gona reach out to the people i should reach out.

At Last am gona pull Ms.TSY to the right side so she wont fall into alcoholic and worldly stuff.
She is also one of the reason I am working hard!
Study Hard ya Ms.TSY!!

=)

NEW~~

I want...
I want GOD's Key to heaven!
I want to serve GOD in every way!
I want a healthy life!!
I want everyone around me to be blessed!
I want a lovely girl that will love me secretly and love me more in future!!
I want to be nice !
I want this I want that I want everything!!
I want my to be with my god sis forever? hahaha...
I want I want I want to go around the world bringing Naomi along!
I want to bring Naomi to church!
I want to feed her so fat till she cant wear her clothes =p =p
I want.... I want... I want...

2nd Oct 2009

Today...
Done nothing the whole day,
Just talk to my u know who this morning,
Crap a lot and she gtg of a sudden again as usual =.=

went out at night with william
Always get 'polish' up like usual!!
Went to eat 'Bali tong' and oyster!
Went with egene and willaim
Egene so funny she says that she know how to eat bali tong but then she suck the thingy cannot come out hahaha cacat eh xD
and she ate 3
me n william ate the whole plate!!
Hope i dun lao sai tomolo =(


Hahaha suck suck suck the bali tong is like learning how to kiss =p

if u cant suck the thingy out from the bali tong means u are not a good kisser =p

Being back wit her as bestie

Love my cute sis =p

Love LOVE LOVE

Well.

As i write this, a lot of things went through my mind.

Is she meant to be for me?

She love me?

SHe like me?

Is she playing around??

Is she using me?

Am i stupid??

Well, till today all this hurtful question come into my mind..

Almost cried few times.

But i tend not to. so i occupied my time to my god sis house and chat with my god sis.

Well as i do all this i realise something.

If she is meant to be for me then god will keep her by my side.
Well if she is not then Lord please bring her far far away!

Is just a relationship that i love her but she likes me.
She lives in a promise that she wants to fulfil.

If a girl love me then she will always be with me talk to me.

Spend time with me.

go out with me and all.

But nope none of the above is fulfill by her.

Is like I am always sad with her.

But she can even go out with other people but not me.

So i made my stand and i know this is not wad i wanted.

She is just not the right one for me.

So i surrender everything upon the lord.

Break my heart once so i can stand up again.

Wanted to forget my feelings upon her.

Starting a new life.

Loving my god sis alone =)

And i will just care for her only!!

HAHA will she do the same? =p

Sayang her the most kekez

GOD IS AWESOOMMEEE

Last sunday i was like so poor left 12bucks in my wallet and i gave the RM10 bucks note to the lord as offering.

Well... On that day i left 2 bucks so i didnt follow william go eat..

Cause so poor d..

Then.. today tuesday, i went to pasar malam.

And i walking around..

Then i saw Mr.Loh!

He gave me back 10bucks wowowow..


haha

How awesome is the lord our GOD.

another miracle happen that i wanna share is during my last exam.

Didnt study for exam and slack around for months.

Was quite lazy and even thou the questions is with me but i never bother to look at it.

Till

the day before exam.

Then i went in by faith.

Write as much crap i could.

Vomit out all my knowledge.

then it was over.

Was thinking of failing and very worry.

My heart almost drop out.

Then the day i took my result.

I gave out a simple prayer taught by william.

I say sincerely to the lord.

Lord if you have things for me to do in college.
Let me pass my exam.
And i will work on your will!
Amen

I went in by faith and took my results.

Guess WHAT?

I get 1 A 4 Bs

I was like WOW

And YAY

And WOHOOOO..

Well i will concentrate more in the lord!!

WOWOWOWOW

haha

Thinking maturely =)

Its okay if things just dont go my way!
Well today one of the weirdest day of everyday.

went to college and saw her.

then she always wasnt in the mood to talk to me face to face.

T_T

Let time heal me and forget her =D

at night i went to the meeting AGAIn~~

So sleepy and tired yet i went to my sister's house.

Go there and share my chi chi made chocolate mooncake!

And kapsiao with her from 11 to 2am~

haha so many thing to kap siao us.
xD

Is like a thousand years we didnt talk yet i just met her few days ago!

Shared our feelings and taught in everything.

Anyway you are the best sis!!


-forgeting her- =)
(as her wished)